This is a follow-up to my last Shaadi.com post.
So I should probably start out by saying that I created an account. I will admit it. I have an account on Shaadi.com.
Ok, cue the laughter…all right that’s enough.
Oh, and no you can’t see it.
You may be wondering, “After all that whining in your last post, why did you cave in and create an account on Shaadi.com?”
First, a refresher for my non-Indian readers:
Malayalees refers to people from the South Indian state of Kerala. Nairs refers to a caste among Malayalee Hindus, probably most similar to the general “kshatriya” caste.
Well it’s not like I’m wading knee-deep in Nair guys who fit my parents’ stringent criteria (as well as my own). I don’t have the time to go to many of these Malayalee events and conventions anymore (yes so that means I probably won’t be making it out to the KHNA convention in LA this year…sigh). Sure, Nair guys make up probably the largest chunk of the Hindu Malayalees in the United States, but among all Indians in the United States, we are a rarity. I think if I just left it to chance, I’d probably only end up finding someone who fits the bill by the age of…50? 60?
If I learned anything from my Human Bonding class in college, it is this: the largest pool of potential partners you will ever encounter is in college, after that, social networking/dating sites or other dating/meet-and-greet events are your next best bet (depressing, yes, but true). Well…that and people tend to be attracted to people who look most like themselves, but that’s another story altogether.
So I guess to answer the question in my last post…Shaadi.com may be a legitimate possibility.
However, I think Shaadi.com and a lot of other Indian dating/matrimonial sites seem to cater more to those in India than Indians that have either moved abroad or were born abroad. The vast majority of people who have profiles on Shaadi.com are from India. While, yes, I’m Indian, ultimately I’m a product of the United States. Yes, I took Carnatic music classes and classical dance classes, yes I like Indian culture, and yes I ultimately want to end up with an Indian guy. Yet I was born in the United States, and my outlook has been colored by my experiences growing up in the United States. Perhaps that’s why, for many Indians born abroad, Shaadi.com and similar sites seem ludicrous. I’m not even sure there are any websites geared towards NRI’s (non-resident Indians) or people of Indian origin that has the same popularity (or for that matter, as smooth an operating system) as Shaadi.com.
It would be even better to have a site for Malayalee NRIs/people of Indian origin, but that might be asking too much. If I had an ounce of computer programming ability, I would have started a site myself. Unfortunately, I’m as computer-challenged as they come. Anyone want to help me out? 
So I’m hoping something comes out of my first foray into the (big and scary) world of online dating/matrimonial sites. It’s a crap shoot, but at least I’m keeping my options open.
9 comments
Comments feed for this article
February 17, 2009 at 12:52 am
Shashi
Hi Saroj,
I’m co-founder of Bandhan.com – a matrimony search engine. We aggregate profiles from top matrimony services in India. And yes, we also include profiles from M4Marry, a site only for Malayalees.
Also, according to some numbers we recently published on our blog, the NRIs form around 15-18% of all the profiles on these services. We are talking a total base of few millions (really!) here. That definitely speaks volumes about the reach of these matrimony services outside India.
Visit us at http://www.bandhan.com/
Or to be precise http://www.bandhan.com/male/hindu/malayalam/usa/
Hope this helps.
–shashi
February 17, 2009 at 12:30 pm
AJ
Just stumbled on this blog through google. Your not the only one lol. Very soon I have a feeling will have to do the same. Had the same thought wish there was a site focusing on NRI seems the ratio of people on these sites are majority in India – An American “Mallu” Guy.
February 17, 2009 at 12:37 pm
sospokesaroj
Yes! Thank you for validating my observations. It sucks that there are very few sites I can rely on, since the U.S. isn’t exactly teeming with Mallu people. Even in New York City, where you think there would be a higher concentration of Indian people, there aren’t that many Hindu Mallus that I would encounter just on a day-to-day basis. That leaves Shaadi.com and other sites, alas.
February 17, 2009 at 1:04 pm
AJ
Yes you are correct. I grew up in NY and just recently moved out to another “heavy indian” population state. The chances of finding someone Mallu, age range, professional, and then in your religion is like finding a needle in a haystack in either place. I say better to use all resources avaiable including online.
Btw the Bonding class you mentioned probably failed to include engineering majors lol , where the classmate male to female ratio is 30 guys to 1 girl , who you spend a great deal of time with. I know from experience
.
February 17, 2009 at 1:11 pm
sospokesaroj
Haha oh man, I know that all too well. I wasn’t an engineering major myself, but engineers make up a large chunk of my friends (second only to pre-meds). Finding a girl in certain engineering disciplines (except maybe biological or chemical engineering) is probably as hard as…finding a Hindu Mallu Nair guy who fits the unspoken but vast array of selection criteria.
February 17, 2009 at 3:45 pm
Ganesh
Engineers have it pretty bad. Especially in Tech schools. The ratio isn’t favorable, unless you’re a girl. Even if you are a girl, the goods aren’t very appetizing.
Add that on top of the whole restricted Indian demographic, and you have a problem.
February 21, 2009 at 12:02 pm
Doc_nair
Dont know how i stumbled into here ! You know the kind of feeling you have when you enter a room expecting to be empty !! anyway thought i would as well include a couple of my rants in here ! I agree with almost all the above except that i live somewhere in the us and in inda some of the time, so am familiar with the migratory species very well.Nair guys looking for nair girls and vice versa .. well i am no stranger to shaadi and its competitor .. but have to say that it doesnt work unless and until both these work around to talk first and actually meet , which again is impossible to some (in their minds) or kinda refusal to move out of their comfort zone ! We want all the right people with us but how far are we willing to go even to make friends ? but more on that later !
March 3, 2009 at 4:20 am
Gigyaan Byte
Hi Saroj,
I’m glad you brought up the point about NRIs on matrimonial sites because I have been pondering on this note for quite sometime myself (This explains why I’m still single!). I did some research post your blog and to my surprise found out that out of the 14 million members on shaadi.com, 30% are actually NRIs (Thats quite a lotta people)! Yes, I was equally & pleasantly surprised.
) I am really glad to find out that more and more people like you and me are open to the concept of looking for partners online. Also, good job with the profile on shaadi.com. when decided to opt for online matrimony why look anywhere else but at sites who’ve mastered this domain for a decade now. Best of luck with the groom hunting 
Also, if you go through their success stories section, you will find a lot of NRI success stories (a lot of malayalees as well
June 1, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Bharat Kalliat
Most Mallus here in Aus are Christian, theres two other Hindu Mallus i know of in my university, both guys. Definately broaden your market.