My friends were right. I like chicken just a little too much. Admittedly, I’m a little embarrassed to be writing this, especially after I had written this. In my defense though, it took me a year and a half to cave.
It wasn’t so much the need for chicken, or meat in general, that made me cave. It may have had something to do with the fact that my hair was falling in record amounts everyday, owing very much to a diet severely deficient in protein. Living on my own was fine, I could tailor my diet to ensure I was getting protein sans meat (minus fish). Yet living at home with a family that finds vegetarianism, or anything remotely like it, just a little bit alien made it difficult to meet my needs when the default meal almost always included chicken. It may have also had something to do with my mother bemoaning the fact that I was somehow betraying the family by treading the path towards vegetarianism. Yet in all actuality, maybe it may have been because I just missed meat. It proved incredibly difficult to stay away from it, especially chicken, since I had been raised on it since I was born. Maybe I’m just weak.
Am I a bad person for becoming (something close to a) vegetarian? Am I even worse for lapsing?
Nairs traditionally eat meat. Maybe that’s why it seemed so unusual to most of my family that I would eschew meat. I kept fish because I thought that keeping at least that form of protein would ensure that my diet was complete, and would ensure that I maintained my intake of omega-3s and vitamins more commonly found in fish than vegetarian sources. Keeping fish–a Malayalee staple–also kept my family somewhat at ease, though not completely.
So why did I even pursue a path to vegetarianism to begin with? There are a few reasons:
1. Animal cruelty: The news is full of stories of meat processing plants mistreating their animals. Mistreating is probably the understatement of the year. PETA and vegetarianism were ubiquitous in the crunchy-granola environment of Ithaca, so it did rub off on me a little.
P.S. PETA wants to rename fish “sea kittens” in an attempt to make the public view fish differently, and perhaps stop eating fish. What do you think?
2. Religious reasons: Compassion is a cornerstone of Hinduism, which explains why so many Hindus are vegetarian.
3. I guess I just wasn’t into meat for a while.
Vegetarianism of course carries with it a long list of benefits, from better health (losing weight, lower LDLs, more fiber, etc.), to a healthier environment (less livestock being raised for meat, less methane emission). I still hold that reducing our meat intake is the only way to ensure some sort of humane treatment for animals, since much of the tactics being employed today are the result of the maddening demand for meat and the need to industrialize the process of raising and slaughtering livestock.
Vegetarianism is still the best option, but clearly I wasn’t ready for it on some level. I probably should have known when I was so reluctant to give up seafood.
I don’t think I entirely expected I’d lapse. Yet I think once I started to have very vivid dreams of eating meat again, I needed to address it. My diet was severely lacking in protein and it was affecting my health. Yes, I still ate seafood, but preparing decent seafood enough times per week was not something I was able to do. So I slipped and fell, or returned to my normal diet, however you’d like to look at it.
Do I feel a little guilty? Oh yeah. Do I think I’ll try to become a vegetarian again? Probably, though further down the road. Do I regret lapsing? Not entirely. I needed to address my health, that was the main reason I went back…though yes, some of it was caving into the general need for non-vegetarian fare. It’s not like I’m about to swing to the other end of the spectrum and go completely carnivorous and eat all kinds of meat. It’s just returning to what I would normally have before my experiment with pescatarianism. This translates to seafood, some chicken, but never beef. I’m trying to stick with organic sources, or at least theoretically organic sources (halal/kosher), though it’s so unfortunate that organic products are much more expensive than the run-of-the-mill variety.
Maybe once I’m living on my own, and have enough time to devote to preparing meals, I’ll venture back into vegetarian territory. Until then though…
8 comments
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January 13, 2009 at 7:27 pm
Manisha
Hey Saroj,
First off, I’ve been reading your blog for a while, but I definitely had to respond to this one =)
Vegetarianism is something that I’ve struggled with for a long time, because intellectually and emotionally, it’s something that I want to do at some point in my life. On the other hand, I definitely grew up eating meat, and my gradual gravitations towards a more vegetarian diet have raised some mild eyebrows in my family (when I was 16, I decided to adhere to meatless Tuesdays, avoid eating meat more than once a day, and also limit myself to chicken, fish (although not shellfish and shrimp), and turkey.) I jokingly call myself a part-time vegetarian, and dive into all of the above only when asked further questions. My “rules” may seem kind of arbitrary, but there’s logic, if you’re interested at some point =)
However, I haven’t been able to make the full transition to vegetarianism- it’s a mix of apprehension about health-related issues, plus the feeling that I just wouldn’t be able to do it forever at this point in my life. On the other hand, I’ve definitely been making daily, unconscious adjustments to the way I approach meat, and I suspect I’ll be “mostly” vegetarian for the majority of my life. Further, something I often think about in this context ties back to Hindu philosophy- if everything in our universe has some kind of soul, one one level, you can’t necessarily differentiate between levels of morality when looking at plants and animals as food sources. Now clearly there are scientific questions of ability to feel pain, animal cruelty, respect for life (of all kinds, I would hope!) and the ecological effects of aggressively cultivating animals for meat. However, it’s not clear to me that most people think about vegetarianism vs. “carnivorism” from a philosophical standpoint, which makes the whole thing a lot less clear-cut and emphasizes the need to find some kind of balance, versus one extreme or the other. Perhaps I haven’t articulated this well enough, but you get the idea?
Good luck in your nutritional endeavors, and feel free to let me know if you need some part-time vegetarian support =)
January 13, 2009 at 7:31 pm
Manisha
Hey Saroj,
I just wrote you a LONG post about my own experience/philosophy regarding my part-time vegetarianism, but I think your blog ate it. Sad times. Anyway, know that you’re not along in this particular struggle, and that it’s perfectly fine to carve out your own niche on the food continuiuum, and wiggle around as you feel fit. The most important thing is that you can form habits that are doable, and that you can live with philosophically. Let me know if you need a sympathizer to talk to =)
Take care,
Manisha
January 16, 2009 at 10:47 pm
Preeta
I think Manisha’s posts more than adequately cover anything I could say
My two cents, however: The decision whether or not to become vegetarian is really personal and I think you have to see whether it suits you from a lot of different angles, including situational…I grew up eating meat at school cafeterias up until college, it’s true, but in a family where my parents, their parents, their parents’ parents, etc. were basically vegetarian (lacto-vegetarian, even) all their lives (you know, typical Tamil “Iyengar” family) – so you can imagine how little meat I actually ate to begin with, and how much easier it was for me on a practical level to become vegetarian than someone in your situation, once I decided I really wanted to do it (for all the philosophical reasons). (And we all have things we don’t want to or feel the need to give up…I became too addicted to Becker omelets to consider giving up egg too, and I could never become vegan! Onion and garlic may be ‘tamasic,’ too, but my family enjoys both). It’s the awareness with which you pursue an endeavor that means the most.
March 18, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Virat
Hi,
Interesting blog!
Halal is nothing to do with organic food, it is the way an animal is killed to extract meat. It is Islamic way of doing it where they slit the throat of the animal and let the blood drain from the body and they believe that makes the meat ‘tastier’. People of Islamic belief do not eat meats not killed by Halal way because the Quran (or someone/something) forbids them.
There is another way of killing called ‘Jhatka’ that is more of Hindu (Rajput) way where the neck is chopped off in one shot and believed to be less painful. Sometimes, I wonder if Muslims are so particular about their Halal meat, why aren’t Hindu’s fussy about such things?
Not many people know this and believe Halal means better meat.
May 10, 2009 at 7:16 pm
suneejnair
What i dont understand is arent plants living beings? killing plants is as himsa as killing animals. so ahimsa is a misled reason for vegetarians. however psychologicaly and physicaly its a better option.
July 9, 2009 at 1:17 pm
jeetendra
what halal or jhatka
killing a living being is very wrong & painful as it will be when you are being slaughtered
believe me I will feel as much sympathy for you as I feel for smallest animal killed in any corner of this planet
scientifically I believe , all living beings biggest to smallest ;having blood shall feel pain in equal amounts before they are slaughtered
its only that if a being is killed in an instant , the pain might be excruciating ,
but will last a fraction of a second
why else all brain ransackers sfter desperation try to kill themselves in an instant
November 8, 2012 at 12:05 pm
Anand
who told nairs were traditionally non vegeterians…..
only a particular class of nairs were non vegeterians….
higher classes(marans,illathu,padamangalm)
all were pure vegeterians…
think before u speak bro..
July 31, 2012 at 5:25 pm
PeculiarIndigo
Seriously your story sounded just like mine only my downfall was a piece of fish…lol I went vegetarian during the winter and 50% vegan 50% raw vegan during spring and summer. A friend of mine brought back a platter of fish and vegetables needless to say the fish won and I have no regrets and I’m currently enjoying being a limited pescatarian due to my Beliefs ( eating only fish with scales) all other seafood is unclean. I find this eating style more flexible, satisfying and healthy.Do what works for you and your health w/out the guilt.