Mustaches etc.

After a particularly involved (and amusing) discussion with a few friends on whether mustaches are acceptable or not, I figured I’d devote a post to the subject.

There was a particularly amusing moment I had at Cornell, where a few students had set up a sort of “mustache rally” in an effort to bring the mustache back into style. They were chanting pro-mustache slogans and brandishing razors and scissors at people who walked by, offering to give them a shave. Indeed it seems like mustaches are making a comeback…for better or worse.

There are roughly three groups of men: those who look at facial hair as a sign of rugged masculinity and actively grow and shape it into various creations, those who go for the razor at the first sign of stubble, and those who grow facial hair because they’d rather not go through the effort of shaving. Those from older generations, and those from outside the Western nations tend to value facial hair as undoubtedly a sign of masculinity. There probably is some evolutionary significance as far as men having facial hair is concerned. It is a marker of maturity, and perhaps for that reason, it hasn’t been phased out by either evolution or by societal whims.

I have one relative inquire of another relative who prefers to be clean-shaven, whether or not he is a man (to which I replied yes, he’s bald, he has more than enough testosterone). South Indian men seem to believe that mustaches define manliness, as evidenced by 90% of the actors having mustaches. Which brings me to my next point…what makes a man a man?

Masculinity can be defined by a few factors. The most definitive factor is chromosomal identity, that is, possessing XY sex chromosomes that give rise to male primary and secondary sex characteristics. Most boys look forward to the day that they start growing facial hair and shaving, because to them, it is a sign of growing up. Yet does the mustache make the man?

Obviously not.

Masculinity is defined by social constructs and personal outlook. It is equal parts machisimo and chivalry, with a pinch of sensitivity for good measure. It is sports and action, but also just being a father, brother, boyfriend, or husband. A little facial hair does not do any of that.

Clearly my stance on the mustache debate (yay or nay) is undoubtedly nay, to the dismay of 90% of my male, Malayalee relatives. Perhaps it’s due to being raised in the United States, where we are bombarded with ads for the next multi-blade razor that leaves a man’s face “silky smooth.” I just don’t think mustaches alone look good on a man’s face, with rare exception. It’s like carrying a chinchilla around on your upper lip all day.

Facial hair in general doesn’t suit all men. All men are different, all have different facial types. Some have rounder, cherubic faces. Others are chiseled, with strong jawlines. Others still, fall somewhere along the spectrum. So what works, and what doesn’t?

Naturally it’s a question of personal tastes and aesthetics.

Three things that don’t work right from the get-go:

1. Large, shaggy beards (makes you look about 10-15 years older)
2. Muttonchops, and other strange mustache creations. (just looks weird)
3. Soul patches (makes me think that you missed a spot while shaving)

What can work:

1. Scruff: This works best for two types of people:
a. Those who have that chiseled appearance. It helps accentuate the cheekbones and jawline.
b. Those who aren’t quite chiseled, but have some signs of a chin and cheekbones: It helps to further define those areas.

2. Goatees: This works best for people who don’t have a discernible chin, and need to define where their jawline is. Goatees on people with longer, thinner faces adds a certain devilishness to their appearance, which may or may not be a good thing.

3. Small mustaches a la Johnny Depp in Pirates: This only works if you have Depp’s facial structure (prominent cheekbones, hollow cheeks, strong jaw). Otherwise, it’ll just look make you look sketchy.

Ultimately men will grow their facial hair as they see fit, in accordance with their own definition of what it means to be a man, and more importantly, a good-looking man. There are obviously those for whom it just works, and for others, it can be an absolute disaster. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it cannot be generalized to the population as a whole. That’s the great thing about being human, we can find beauty in a variety of manifestations.

A Question of Identity

This post comes courtesy of the lovely Wynsters, whose site http://mommylonglegs.blogspot.com/ covers a wide range of topics and issues. Check out her post, “Mr. Carter”:

http://mommylonglegs.blogspot.com/2008/10/mr-carter.html

Guest post time!

So here’s what I’m looking for: what does it mean to be born into one culture, but grow up in another? This is primarily with regard to either those whose parents were immigrants but were born abroad, or those who moved to another country from their mother country at an early age.

Let’s keep the posts to about 500-700 words. Be creative! It doesn’t have to be pure prose. If you have a style you’re comfortable with, use it. You can focus on one thing, or on everything. Even if you don’t quite fit the target group above, but have a post that relates to this topic, send it my way! Please include a little blurb on yourself, and if you have a website or blog, include the link. My email address is under the “About Me” tab.

Here’s a sample piece to get the ball rolling, it’s a post from last November on Indian communities as closed entities: http://sospokesaroj.wordpress.com/2008/11/18/indian-communities-as-closed-entities/

Happy writing!

Edit: I’ve set a deadline of Oct 14th, please send me your posts before then!

Cheney for President?

Yes, that’s the actual title of an opinion piece in the Wall Street Journal. After choking on my on laughter, I realized he was serious. The prospect of a Cheney presidency reminded me of only one thing. I will let my shoddy Photoshopping skills do the rest of the talking:

Ted Kennedy

I don’t profess to be any more sad than anyone else about the death of Senator Kennedy. Yet on Wednesday morning, when I first read the news about his death, it hurt me deeply. Kennedy and I had no tangible connection otherwise. He was the liberal lion of the senate, the last of the storied Kennedy brothers, the last prince of Camelot. I am a first generation American, daughter of Indian immigrant parents, only starting to find my way in life. I think it is because it was his last few months of life, and his moment of death, that forged a connection between me and the senator.

Ted Kennedy, as all of you probably know, was diagnosed with brain cancer in May of 2008. Specifically, he was diagnosed with glioblastoma multiforme (GBM)–which in the WHO system of cancer grading is stage IV–the most aggressive type of glioma. This summer, I started work in the city, on clinical trials devoted to GBM and other high-grade gliomas. As I started work, and found myself learning more about gliomas, Kennedy’s struggle came into greater focus. The treatments he went through, and the challenges he faced, became more real to me. He was not that different from the multitudes of patients I have come across through my work, his struggle was not any easier. This made his resilience and determination to see his goals through all the more admirable, and inspiring.

I am sitting here now, streaming the funeral coverage from the New York Times website, crying and laughing with everyone else who may be watching the services and the heartfelt eulogies. I am also sitting here, with my work before me, trying to understand how our research may shed new light on gliomas. Though this research is not my brainchild, it is still something about which I feel very strongly. I think I felt more pain about Kennedy’s death because brain cancer research has not reached a point where we could give more, quality years of life to those who suffer with brain cancer. I can only wish that we’ll get there in the near future.

In the meantime, I’m going to try to channel Kennedy as I push onward, with my colleagues, towards that distant goal.

Just an update on where I am now

For those of you who continue to follow my blog despite my being unable to update it as often as before, I want to first say, thanks. You warm my heart with your continued support and encouragement.

I have been busy with work…yes I finally got a job, something I alluded to in my last post. I’m doing cancer research in the city, and it has been an incredible experience so far. If I’m lucky enough to get into medical school, oncology is definitely a possible path I want to pursue in some shape or form. The stakes are higher and the returns can be poor (or downright depressing), but when fate blesses you with the opportunity to be someone’s savior or at least their support, it is amazing.

Cancer is a very crafty enemy, with many weapons at its disposal. To those of you who say a cure for cancer is not far away, as much as I’d love to believe that, I’m not sure what data you are relying on. Whatever drugs and radiation therapies we have now are effective, but like bacteria, tumors can become resistant. This puts greater pressure (obviously) on the patient, but also the healthcare professionals, who are forced to bounce from therapy to therapy until something works, if but for a while.

I’m also getting materials together for AMCAS and just took the MCAT. Hopefully that turned out well, and I’ll be a little bit closer to getting back on track. It’s unfortunate AMCAS costs as much as it does, there has been a lot of financial wrangling to make sure that everything works out. I’ll post updates on that front when I can.

That being said, even though things are still busy, I will try to update this blog as often as I can.

Randy Pausch

I happened to be on Youtube a while back, and saw that there was a section devoted to commencement speeches, where Randy Pausch’s video was featured. I can’t believe it has been almost a year since he passed. I can’t believe that he passed.

I watched his last lecture soon after I had graduated from college. My brother had insisted that I see it, and he is usually not one for sweeping oratory. Randy Pausch did not look like he was dying, though all those present, and all those watching knew that he was. Not once did he pity himself, or bemoan his situation, even as his death grew steadily within him. His speech was peppered with grace, humor, and a perspective that one would not expect from cancer patients, let alone people who have ever been so much as slighted by fate.

He spoke eloquently of achieving his own childhood dreams, and helping others to achieve theirs. It’s one of those topics that, context notwithstanding, is beautiful and inspirational. Yet it takes on a whole new level of poignancy when one takes into account Pausch’s backstory, the “elephant in the room” as he referred to it (terminal pancreatic cancer). On a slight sidenote, and perhaps this is a gross generalization, but in the few weeks that I have worked in clinical cancer research, I have found such inspiration in the patients I have been lucky enough to hear about or perhaps even talk to. Their perspective, in many cases, is so pure and so positive. Perhaps it’s the specter of death that causes us to review our views on life, and find something positive to keep us (and those we love) going.

I remember coming into the hospital one day, having walked a few blocks in the pouring rain. I ended up being locked out of my office, and decided to wait in the waiting room. There was one other woman there, who was a patient. She smiled at me and asked me how I was doing. I responded, “Fine…but I wish the weather was better!”

“No no,” she said, “I love this weather.”

“Why?”

“Well,” she started, “it’s almost as if the city is being cleansed fully.” She smiled. “There is a smell in the city, that no amount of cleaning we do can take away. Yet when the rain comes down and washes the streets, it smells so fresh and clean afterward. That’s why I love it.”

I can’t look at storms with the same, negative view again.

Randy Pausch inspired me similarly. As many of you know, whether because you know me, or because you have read my posts, I really want to become a doctor. What you probably also know is that it has been a ridiculously uphill battle. In his speech, he spoke of brick walls. Brick walls, he said, were there to test how badly you really wanted something. Your propensity for breaking down the brick wall was correlated to the strength of your dream. I have made some progress with my own brick wall, but there is still more work to be done. I’ll see how it plays out.

There are a few other things that stuck that I have been able to relate to my own life. For one thing, he strongly advises his audience to never lose that child-like wonder. It’s absolutely true. If you do, you just get caught up in the tide, and in the humdrum passing of the days, where everything is just shades of gray. I think, oftentimes, it is the curse of adulthood, once we step outside of our colleges into the real world. Life threatens to be the same old story, everyday. It’s important, though, to find excitement in even the smallest, most seemingly mundane things. Even on my commute, I find myself staring out the window, trying to pick up on this and that that flies by as we head to Penn (or head home), or just let my mind run a little wild, contemplating this and that. Everything has the potential to be amazing, it’s just a question of how we approach it. If I find myself getting swept away, I just have to remember Randy Pausch, and how he was able to see everything in a new, awe-inspiring way

Helping others and doing the right thing seem to be things that we should be adhering to, but it’s surprising how many people drop the ball. Karma is something I strongly believe in, though that’s not the only reason one should do the right thing. It’s a question of the act itself, not the rewards it may potentially bring.

Ultimately the one thing that really touched me from his last lecture is the premise of putting others before yourself. He demonstrated that visibly by leading the entire audience in singing happy birthday to his wife. Yet even in day to day things, we can put the needs of others above our own. Humans are social beings, to deny our connection to other people, and to subvert that connection for our own gain does go against what it means to be human. Sure, we do have to look out for ourselves on occasion (otherwise we ultimately perish, literally or figuratively) but in serving others, we become better people.

Part of me wants to think Randy Pausch was, in a sense, enlightened all along. He seemed to conduct his life with a strong awareness of what he expected of life, and what life expected of him. Part of me thinks that his fight with cancer hastened the enlightenment process. Perhaps it was a little of both. He was certainly an extraordinary man, who led an extraordinary life, yet maintained a sense of humility that most people in his position fail to have.

It’s unfortunate that those who are truly an inspiration to humanity inevitably end up being taken away from us too soon. It is fortunate, however, that we have the means to immortalize those people and the wisdom that they preach. Indeed, the video of the last lecture has 10 million or so views. I’ve personally watched it twice, and I cried both times. It wasn’t really so much the inevitability of his death, but the manner in which he handled it that so moved me. He smiled, joked, laughed, and reminisced, even treating his impending death light-heartedly. Cancer wasn’t an end, it was a beginning.

It is partly because of Randy Pausch that I still dare to dream, even if the dream seems walled off by brick walls. Like he said, brick walls are there to test the strength of our resolve, and our devotion to the dream. Nothing is ever impossible, as he demonstrates by admitting that he was not accepted to Carnegie Mellon for graduate school. However, he was persistent, and eventually ended up going. As the 1st anniversary of his death approaches, I hope that new people, as well as people who have already seen the video, become inspired by the wisdom he so willingly gave.

Here is the video, for those who haven’t seen it, and those who want to see it again: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

This is going to be one of those days, where you look back and think “When I heard Michael Jackson died, I was doing…”

Well, I had just hurriedly rushed out of the C train at Penn, and was making my way to the LIRR track. I checked my Blackberry quickly, and happened to go to Twitterberry, when I saw the string of Michael Jackson-related tweets. My first instinct was to dismiss it as a hoax, though I could feel a lump slowly rising in my throat. This was Michael Jackson they were talking about, had they no shame? How could you suggest such a thing? Yet I decided to confirm it with the New York Times, hoping that it wasn’t true. When I saw that the first article was “Michael Jackson dead at 50″ I wanted to cry. I guess perhaps it’s an odd response to the death of someone who wasn’t exactly close to me. However, he defined my understanding of pop music from the first day I even knew anything about pop music.

Being raised in an Indian household meant there was Indian music most of the time. Michael Jackson represented my first glimpse of Western music. Yet my reaction was more of fear, since the first thing I heard by him was “Thriller” and happened to be watching the music video (keep in mind, I was maybe five or six). Fear, though, gave way quickly to admiration. He was the pinnacle of pop music, and no one has even come close to his skill and success (and no one ever will).

Perhaps I’m more sad because a few friends and I danced to “Thriller” for our senior dance at our Diwali program two years ago. It was a fantastic bonding experience for us, and a great learning experience (Michael’s moves are not easy, unsurprisingly). Michael Jackson is inextricably tied with that experience, and maybe that’s why his death elicited such an emotional response in me.

May he rest in peace, he was the best thing to ever grace the world of pop music. I hope the media is kind to his children, and to his memory.

El Rap Enfermo

El Rap Enfermo

This is not a typical post, usually mine are geared towards issues and events, but I figured I’d throw in one or two slightly pointless/mildly amusing posts too.

My brother and his friends had to do an extra-credit project for Spanish, where they had to make use of a passage (or something of the sort) about being sick (remember this is still high school Spanish). So they decided to make a Spanish rap video, and it is hysterical. Even if you don’t understand Spanish, it is still very funny.

Enjoy.

Shout out to Project Remix

I first heard about Project Remix last year–or at least the collection of nascent ideas that would eventually become Remix–from one of the creators, who is also a good friend of mine. I was immediately sold on the idea, which was to create a site that provided resources and information to Desi (South-Asian) youth. A site created by the Indian youth for the Indian youth.

The official site launched recently, though it had already started generating buzz among our peers when it had made its first foray into the collective consciousness. Currently there are sections for cuts, cultural media, and articles. The cuts feature mixes used by various student groups and collegiate dance teams (bhangra, raas, Indian fusion, etc.) from across the country. Cultural media highlights video performances from various collegiate groups. The articles on Project Remix have been broken down into smaller categories and initiatives, devoted to everything from the arts to sports (currently I’m contributing to Team Innovate’s Neurobio series so be sure to check that out!). Examples of articles currently up on the website include my neurobio piece (an overview of neuroscience), a two-part series on biofuels, a review of Slumdog Millionaire, and a piece recounting a trip to Chennai to volunteer.

Project Remix is seeking new, fresh voices that can contribute to the site in any capacity. If you are a writer or blogger who is interested in appearing on the website, you can email projectremixny at gmail dot com. For any other questions, you can also send an email to the aforementioned address. The website is http://www.projectremix.org.

In addition, you can follow Project Remix on Twitter @ProjectRemix for updates.